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Best of the Best Dad Jokes

Best of the Best Dad Jokes

We’ve compiled a list of the best of the best dad jokes! Read on for a chuckle, even if it’s a cheesy one!

-What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta

-Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it's tearable.

-How does a penguin build it's house? Igloos it together.

-Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

-What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.

-To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word!

-How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

-Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint!

-My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No it doesn’t!”

-I know a lot of jokes about retired people…but none of them work!

-After dinner. my wife asked if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I made it!

-If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you…an iWitness?!

-Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

-I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.

-3 unwritten rules of life...

1.

2.

3.

(this would be great for an email or text!)

-What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? AYE MATEY

-What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador.

-Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself? It was two tired.

-When you ask a dad if he's alright: "No, I’m half left.”

-Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

-Want to hear a joke about pizza? Nevermind, it’s cheesy.

-What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

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